Thursday, 27 January 2011


Well, yesterday was “payback” for the Back Class and the pain I have at the moment seems to be far outweighing the benefits of attendance.  I have to admit there are times when I think:”is this all worth it?” Maybe I should just give up, sit back and let things happen.  Bring out the comfy, baggy clothes and the couch and adapt to the situation.  Now here lies the crux of the matter, because at the moment, I feel that adapting to the situation means I am giving in to the situation. I want to do the same things in the same way as I have always done them.  I want to bend forward to put my socks on in the morning;  I want to stand by the cooker and make the dinner without using a stool;  I want to walk around town without having to sit down every 10 minutes (I now know where all the chairs are:  bookshop, department store shoe section; coffee shop); I don’t want to have to take painkillers just to function.  I want my life back.

I suppose this might be seen as self-pity, and I do admit to having that in bucketloads – but it is also anger and frustration and, if I am honest, pure bloody-mindedness.  I still bend forward to put my socks on – and it hurts like billyo. I try and defy it – mind over matter, like the Kwai Chang Caine character in that old TV series “Kung Fu”.  If he could walk over hot coals, then I sure as hell can put my “Hello Kitty” ankle socks on.  Unfortunately, “Grasshopper” did not suffer from CRPS and walked barefoot – so we shall never know if he would find himself in the same position – perched helplessly on the end of his reed grass futon with tears in his eyes and a sock hanging mockingly from his foot.

Now, this morning I am waiting for the delivery men to bring my new washing machine.  The old one leaked, having done many years of good service, and again, not being able to just bend down and mop up with old towels only really adds to your stress levels and general annoyance.  So, while I am waiting, I thought: “I know what!  I’ll do a book review!  You don’t have to use your back to do a book review!  I shall review How to Beat Pain by Christine Craggs-Hinton.”  Bearing in mind that I have never done one of these things before, this might be a bit hit and miss. Still, we’ll give it a go and post tomorrow.   ‘Till then, as Master Kan said to the young Caine:  “When you can take the pebble from my hand, it will be time for you to leave” 

Today's Lemon Rating:  A good old 7 out of 10 (thanks to a pair of socks & a worn out washing machine)

No comments:

Post a Comment